Joy In Life
I have noticed in life that many people are just not necessarily enthused in living. Even when we think they have everything and their lives seem so great, often they're just not pleased with being. I see it on TV and in the streets, the look people have when they are just not content. Massive wealth and fortune still often does not keep a person separate from the throes of unhappiness. Many people are not happy with themselves and that makes their lives miserable. Whether it is weight, wealth, color, status, whatever problem, people find the most trivial of things to be miserable over. Everybody knows at least one person that is simply having a good time with living being irritated by the smallest of things.
I can never understand because I see every reason to be happy and am overwhelmed by the awesomeness of life. Maybe it's because I almost lost my life once and I still have a real sense of impending doom that makes every second seem like my last. I know struggle is not unwarranted especially in the case of those acquiring new disabilities. I've seen the gloom of misery hang over hospitals and nursing homes where people are uncertain of how to be because of recent tragedies or circumstances of uncertain future. I've been to some nursing homes and seen people who have no choice or right to decide decisions. Their lives are set by circumstance, routine and there's nothing to inspire hope or joy. There you see much unhappiness and it's not without warrant that people in those kinds of situations find it hard to be thrilled in living.
However, there also seems to be many people who are having a hard time because
they are too busy trying to make others happy to be happy themselves. I guess
its because we learn early on in life to seek the approval of others and expect,
need complements to boost ego and grant a sense of well-being. Our kids seem
distraught as result from not being able to fit in certain groups. Everyone
can remember one kid in school who got picked on and never was quite able to
fit in. As humans we will never fit into all categories. No one can please all
others at all times.
I decided once long ago to be okay with who I am as a human and that attitude certainly helped after acquiring my disability.
Though I certainly am no authority on life and living, I have learned to be comfortable with what I am and what I can do as a quadriplegic. I think a lot of misery could be solved if people would learn to accept themselves wherever they are now in life and however they are as a person. I see trying to make everyone else happy a lot of wasted energy if one is not happy in self. It is vitally important for all people, but especially people with disabilities to learn to be okay with who they are. That I believe will lead to more joy and enthusiasm for living. I know it's not an easy thing to do, but as long as we don't base our decisions about who we think we should be on someone else's opinion or fold to society, our parents, cultures idea of who they feel we should be to feel good about ourselves. Then we can start to explore well what makes me happy and what do I like to do that would bring joy to daily living.
There are rigid standards on what the ideal human being is and for most of us that might be a bit too lofty. This is life, live, and learn. I could dwell on my condition and feel sorry for myself, but I don't. Anyone can find reason to be sad, however I choose not to have those preconditions affect my experience in this moment; especially with how I feel about whom I am as a person learning and experiencing in the world. I want to be happy and that is my choice in life.
Sure there are all kinds of reasons to not see it that way. I'm not rich enough. I could be better looking. I wish I had washboard abs, the ability to run, and dance, but hey I'm breathing, seeing, being in the world. There are so many things I could still do. If the able bodied world could understand how truly blessed just getting out of bed is, just walking to the mailbox is, just picking up a kitty cat is, or just making love to your lover is then I don't think there would be so much nonchalant unhappiness. For every reason I find to be miserable, I can find a thousand to be overjoyed about. It's really a matter of choice and where perspective lies. We decide to be pessimistic or optimistic about living. There are many and will always be many reasons to not be content in living but for me life is about joy and pleasuring.
I find a life without joy a hard life to live, one not appropriate to my tastes or needs. The secret to happiness I think is to love self. We might never be the rich, good-looking, hard body fit, Hollywood picture star, stock-market mogul that we always dreamed of being, but if we can find joy in this moment then we have the Holy Grail that so many seem to be looking for. No matter our condition or environment somewhere happiness is hidden waiting for us to smile.