Forced Meditation
Life with disability
strange endeavor
interesting its lessons of patience
and meditation
The wounded martyr
prostrates rare form
challenging soul to understanding
far greater than normal routine
We wear all masks sooner or later
Whatever hurricaned my inception
into strange fate initially
is gone forever part of past
untouchable to me now
I can only live here as fully
and as functionally
as ability allows
Four years ago today
my life changed
and all I thought I was
became a dream
and all I am now possibility
Crown of the Babylon
DC my second action
first where I really played a role
as color leader
feeling proud of being part
of something that truly mattered
They can't really expect us
to allow what's going on to continue
as they sit in cabinet assemblies
making decisions on what's best
for "those people"
They think our minds impaired
because of different ways of being
They fail to realize "those people"
are they one day with injury or age
they are we
Reclaiming power
we force notice
into areas of our lives
which we best understand
Our goal: CASA
(Community Attendant Services Act)
rally public political support awareness
promised action on topic
of nursing home bias
Stop selling our lives
to big money institutions
lobbying laws unhealthy and cruel
ADAPT our power to change
target sites secretly then charge forward
capture and lay siege
until demands are met or arrest draws near
Media attention always important to cause
it gets nasty at times
keeping it together while police swarm
and angers enflame
We manage well enough
protesting with structured objective
sharing more than just words
to make difference
I myself
am proud to be disabled
dislabeled claiming
unity with my brothers and sisters
fierce in protest
willing beyond arrest
to defy for denied rights
Challenge brings results
the Monday after returning to Atlanta
from our sabbatical in DC
I got word C.A.S.A. had been introduced
as House Bill 2020
Star Streak
2 a.m. meteor showers
firmament ablaze
atmosphere igniting comet debris
flaming heaven in boreal streaks
Bitter freezing cold
harsh November wind
near a vacant lake
stiff night silent in retreat
all we needed was a warm fire
to persuade our stay
I watched huddling Tra' and blanket
as Amanda and Shannon
gathered pine straw
small branch for fuel
Love is thrilling in commencement
9 years her elder
giving self to me
Our attraction gradually unfolding
assigning circumstance
to fresher benefit
She knew we would be lovers
I knew
it was merely a matter of time
Vagabond Scribe
Years ago life was pacing highway
in 86 Ford Aerostar van
sleeping on a tri-fold out foam mattress
unnoticed near chain hotels hostels
near Grand National Parks
Freedom then was an atlas the road
money enough to make it
meals cooked on a Coleman stove
Arizona flavored iced teas
and bottled water for beverage
No commitments dates hurries
places necessary to agenda
no particular everyday contact
disruption or distraction
No cell phone or beeper
I was drifting wandering with moment
seeking cool experience to drama memory
Bare necessity a backpack tent sleeping bag
snowboard skateboard mountain bike
books notebook and few changes of clothes
Everyone should chance to leave at least once
allow self time to pursue willingness to wander
Every moment fresh
each moment alive and free
I found answers I found her
enveloped beautifully in mystery
Suburban Centaur
Disability has tied me to the city
and its tendencies
The non-stop stream of noise
steady pound
of always something going on
Though I used to live
outside the scope
of political policy and disorganization
breaking my neck has left me
to the mercy of their legislation
and what they do in office
Their callous disregard of others
affects me directly
I am bound
like most everyone else to insane measures
dictating corporate biases
Trapped in worlds ruled by network TV
sex sells product
environment secondary to economic prosperity
The masses don't even realize situation
how ecosystems are because of cities
tuning nights to selective viewing
worshipping idol shows
and cultural programming
We know only what they tell us
truth a well propagated lie
Propaganda creates belief
I want to leave it all
run wild naked free
hang with the island girls
smoking cloves
on beaches of powdered sand
sun cascading view
nature gripping me
in strange persuasion
Somewhere the sun rises
and sets on water
ocean courted by summer rays
shimmers in moon night
Sobriety
Restless high school tedium
lead to trouble for me
breaking probation I ended up
in a treatment facility for 59 days
a month after turning 17
They said I must learn
to mold with society
stop rebelling against systems
dictating our lives
Required AA/NA meetings
recovering addicts spoke of peace sobriety
in between chain smoking
long drags of dark cloud
and gulps of coffee black as night
Overcoming addiction they said
is awareness of the issue
Y2K
Shuddered by uncanny feeling
thoughts of a new millennium approaching fast
Jupiter moon fading landscape intrigue
will we survive the next 100 years
slaughtering habitat
laying concrete garden
so no one must maintain the grass
December and still spring warm outside
they say there's nothing to the greenhouse effect
jet emissions clouding sky in exhaust fume
All around me life is linked
to meaningless endeavor
Y2K on the horizon
computer bug possibility of corrupting
entire control systems
and maintenance technologies
Who knows what will happen next
Multi-million dollar research studies
proclaim no scientific proof
that desecrating the rainforests
dumping toxic wastes into oceans
and damming every once free-flowing river
will have or has
any lasting effect on environment
Do they really think us that stupid
Earth first in all things
something will have to happen
to hold us if but for moments in our tracks
give world time to reflect on situation
shatter opinion of what we think
we know as reality defined
Force us to take notice
of what we're doing as a species
in regard to the bigger picture
Maybe the Hopi will have the last laugh
poke fun of our loose dependence
on cruel technologies
The future may not be as secure as assumed
maybe soon existing systems will fail
procuring necessary change
100 years ago horse's carried distance
now shuttles push limits of sky
capable of escaping the Earth's gravity
No matter how many bulletin boards are erected
wires strung or concrete laid
no place I'd rather be
Sometimes we do more harm than good
this we must apprehend
weighing benefit with concern
of children and future regard
Star Child
Word soft remedy for occasion
son I want you to know
I've been dreaming about you
and your mother
I pray all is well
that you are taken care of
and loved in the way a child should be
I hope this letter
finds you in good health
claiming daily pleasure from everyday living
I have written many times
without hearing from you
rambled on about things
that you are maybe still to young to fully grasp
So many years have passed
without me sending word
at times I thought it best
if I just remained in the shadows
not interfere with the daily routine
of your current family affair
I don't feel I deserve the right to know
all of what's going on with you
though I wonder frequently
Finishing my 3rd and 4th book simultaneously
I hope that I will be able to one day soon
share with you the work I have done
I hope one day
you will be able to see me perform
in fencing tournaments
poetry readings here and abroad
I wish I knew what involved
your focused attention
what drove your passions and will for fun
I dream of conversation with you
meaningful dialogue
time in which we can set aside difference
past behavior embracing moments anew
Labor through the chaos
which separates us even now
I love you son with tenderness
I never knew before
Fate is driving the force
to bring us together
this I believe
soon our worlds will collide
and we will be left facing each other
with new incident to celebrate
New Dawn Morning Rising
The Dragon Lady rose
hungry to prophesy
Left in parting kiss
stiff paralysis
fresh memories of her waking
Gone before the others came
our tryst a secret
She helped me process day
dress bathe get into wheelchair
in between love
idle moment and comfort thought
Waiting for Brenda
to begin morning routine
sometimes life is so great
candy delicious
Night is for her soft lips
and careful metaphor
Beautiful Freak
Don't judge me
friend brother sister
there is only One
honored above all
worthy of that deed
New morning sunrise
through thick shaded trees
summer back deck
lizard lounging
Distant mower blaring throttle high
distraught dogs bark
pent-up in square cornered yards
of square cornered lots
of urban blocked America
Babylon existence
daily suburban life
mellow in mind
8:30 early morning
traffic steady pouring noise
outside the hollow walls
of our roadside crib
Behind the shriek of urban life
the still soft hummingbird hum
subtle peace
eerie morning shadow song
of cricket cicadas
doing their thing
Families of birds
hatchlings sound rooftop heights
announcing presence
praising the life giving orb
rising in steady progress
Helios in ascent
spreading thin ringed
rose gold fingers to Dawn
white robed in glittering glory
Night recedes
sunrise on the lips of morning
Terrestrial sanctuary
ceremonial fanning of light
to the Tall Ones
holding arms always upright
high in constant prayer
Stretching always for golden warmth
green leafed fingers expand
budding blossoms
like thorn roses erect on steady stem
Their firm lives spent seeking out distant heat
reaching for source
like kamikaze moths imposing flame
suicidal in desire
effort to get back to the Light
4 days of appeasing rainbow rains
lifeblood for the chain of children
linked so delicately to one another
I've missed you
Bright One
your smile on my face
warmth of your grace
distinguishable from all others
Sky magnificence
Angel Sun
bright-winged
so giving of pleasure
I salute you saluting me
home in the midst of it all
I play to complete no return trip
Christ knew Tarot-like
he was to die
at betraying hands
prophecy for martyr blood
What is one life in immortal journey of soul
a window of a moment
just a fragment of the whole
Confident Living
Dislabled
I am capable
of more than they assume
What will they do when illusion is shattered
disrupting all world's fray
Life differently rewarding
these wheels are my freedom
tool to challenge accessibility
Fencing writing reading drawing
semi-retired I spend my days
doing whatever I want
Raphael replied when asked to serve the King
'Should I make myself more prosperous
by a road I find repulsive?
and yet now I live just as I wish-
a blessing which I suspect comes
to very few men in high position.'
I need not money to manage affairs
I trust I can always handle situation
find the right person willing to assist
pass chill time with kind Athenian sisters
scripting words for their leisure
a fool musing harem
Blessed with these moments now
responsible for aiding those seeking way
I do what is prescribed by light and new agenda
Silence Most Never Contend
Recreation
re-creation of that which you are
I am what I am
to know thine self
is to know the great mystery
Silence most never contend
afraid to be alone
in wilderness home
where strange phenomena occurs
Yashuah fasted in wilderness preparation
eager to meet the desert spirits
who would come to test his claim
Usurping the temptations of three trials
he returned to culture
a man now prophet and messiah
A little faded before I ever
sat in wheelchair
doing things different
from prescribed routine
I wanted to know what was up
why we were headed
the way we were
Why things considered education
made no sense at all
people not doing as they say
or saying as they do
I did those things important to self knowing
okay with sticking out
like a sore thumb
pimple among the masses
This chair is not who I am
though an integral part of me
I am what most cannot hope to see
okay with self
even if people laugh
because they misunderstand
Disability was my wake-up call
no more skirting shores
waiting for rain to settle
Time to set bearing for deep ocean
into the eye of the hurricane
no tomorrow to await
Centered in the midst of it all
I know where
the paper-wing butterflies
gather in abundance
and sunsets are always free to see
Laid Up
Shadows push evening
wind rattling trees
all I want to do is
get out in the sun
burnish skin in warm calm
I'd do anything to stop throbbing
sitting increasing pain
forced discomfort
I'm drifting light headed fuzzy
clobbered by ache
hydrocodones masking intensity
Will I ever feel better
why can't they tell me what's wrong
This feeling has to be more
than just sitting
others seem less affected
less crumpled by posture
I know something's wrong
breathing hurts
my body jumping from stabbing jolts
7 emergency room visits later
and still no correct diagnosis or remedy
how can I endure forcing tenure
More pain pills
resolve to eat so I don't puke
cortisone shots help existence a few days longer
I can't imagine what I would feel
if I weren't paralyzed
supposedly disconnected
from feeling capacity
Try explaining to doctors feeling
when they assume you don't
Loaded light floaty
feeling ill insomnia sleep affected
melatonin and temazapan
to help me sleep through the pain
Working poems for 'A Different Way Of Being'
shifting head and foot adjustments
bed seconding as my office
access to water computer
paper book and pen
Rest is healing salvation
maybe tomorrow
the sun will come out
and I'll feel better